Are You Being Hard on Yourself?
Being hard on yourself is a natural reaction for anyone striving for greatness in a job search.
But if you are constantly reliving your failures and rarely allow yourself to feel the warm glow of success, your natural fear of rejection will ensure that you apply for jobs that you are likely to get rather than setting the bar higher. Your inner critic will have a field day in every challenging interview (after all, harsh interrogations are what it does best). Your lack of self-belief will culminate in a limp and apologetic performance.
If you feel that you don’t deserve to be there and are being hard on yourself, you will not convince many interviewers.
If any of the following five signs feel familiar, it might be worth taking the time to re-assess your career and ambitions with a kinder and more gentle approach. Any of these feelings could serve to limit or even derail your job search:
How are you being hard on yourself?
You never feel good enough. If you constantly feel like an imposter and allow your inner critic to starve you of well-earned praise, you will struggle to convince an interviewer that you are the person for the job. There is no benefit in ruminating on and wallowing in your career failures during the job search process. Stop being hard on yourself – focus instead on what makes you awesome.
You worry about everything. This is debilitating. If you go about your job search with a negative “what if” mentality, your behaviour will focus on avoiding obstacles rather than embracing possibilities. If you focus on “what could go right”, you will make braver choices, have more interesting conversations, and answer questions with clarity and conviction.
You overthink and are self-critical. Dwelling on mistakes with minimal consequences is a common tactic for those who feel that they are “growing” when engaged in self-criticism. In fact, the reverse is true. If a mistake does not have serious repercussions, accept it as part of life and move on. Constantly blaming yourself leads to self-loathing.
Draining mindset
You are constantly mentally drained. Feeling empty, sad and unfulfilled is a mindset that many job seekers will experience. Breaking free from this draining mental quicksand is difficult – remind yourself of some recent wins and focus on what you could change for the better in the new role. Enjoying a physical and mental break from the search will also help.
You have a narrow definition of success. When you have a high bar, you won have the chance to celebrate many wins. In a job search context, if your only definition of success is getting a job, it will seem like a lonely slog. Broaden the definition of success on your terms – living by someone else’s idea of success can be exhausting.
A job search is one of the most challenging mental tests that life can throw your way. Don’t make it even tougher by being your own worst critic. If you are kind to yourself and dare to dream, untold possibilities will reveal themselves.
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This blog is shared with Job Seeker Duetists.
Written by former recruitment ghostwriter Paul Drury (not AI).
