Overcoming the Five Mental Hurdles of Resilience

Our ability to cope with stress and adversity has little to do with “bouncing back.” The hurdles of resilience just keep coming.

True resilience entails sinking deep into challenging events that you do not have the power to resist. Surviving adversity comes with acceptance, and only then can you seek to learn something new about yourself and ultimately grow as a person when you get through it.

If you try to dismiss the difficulties and mindlessly “bounce back,” you miss the opportunity to adapt, master your emotions, stay strong and work through the problems. Life is not what happens to you; it is what happens within you.

That is where the tough get tougher. You choose to keep jumping the hurdles of resilience.

Everyone adapts to life’s challenges differently, so here are five mental hurdles (as I imagine them) that I think about when dealing with a seemingly impossible situation. This is how I try to remain positive, pick myself up and stay on my path.

5 hurdles of resilience

Accept adversity with compassion and courage.

You need to start by being kind to yourself in any difficult situation. Know that you will get through this, although it may take a little time. Have the courage to face your fears head-on and deal with the big beasts in the room first. Be prepared for some of the issues to require considerable perseverance and realise that you may fail multiple times before you see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Push on. You might bend, but you won’t break.

Reframe harmful perspectives – avoid becoming paralysed.

There are three helpful ways of reframing a problematic situation and getting ready to move on: Firstly, remember that very few setbacks are truly permanent. Change is always possible. Secondly, just because this part of your life is bad, it doesn’t mean that the rest of your life is tainted. Put the traumatic stuff into its own little box. Lastly, don’t make the adversity all about you. There are always other circumstances and different people involved.

Commit to my path of growth with my “why” at the centre.

When you know that you have a compelling reason to get through a period of turbulence, your struggles will seem that bit easier. Everyone has their own complex sense of why they live their lives, and the most potent acts of resilience come when their “why” lies at the end of the path. Commitment is central to resilience, as when you genuinely care about your journey, you will do anything to get things back on track.

Focus on resilience

Focus only on what I can control; otherwise, I am lost.

When you are struggling, it is important to focus on the possibilities of what you can change rather than the depressing inevitability of what you can’t. You cannot turn back the clock on something like redundancy, so don’t wallow in self-pity. Consider the small wins on the horizon, dust yourself down, and empower yourself with a positive mindset. Spend your precious mental energy on the things that will have a genuine impact.

Evaluate whether my choices are helping or harming me.

This is a great question, as it centres around how your current decisions will affect your future state. Aligning your current trajectory with your future goals is an excellent way of mapping out the path ahead. Even if a better future seems a long way away, reminding yourself that you are making small steps will help you maintain a positive outlook. Understand that your reaction to this adversity is making you stronger.

The last thing to remember is that no one is perfect. No matter how resilient you might be, some hurdles of resilience will cause you to stumble for a while. Of course, do what you can, but sometimes you need to hold your breath and wait for the storm to pass.

At the heart of resilience lies a belief that something better is out there for you.

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This blog is shared with Job Seeker Duetists.

Written by former recruitment ghostwriter Paul Drury (not AI).