The Five Stages of Grief in a Job Search
Grief is a necessary process when experiencing and coming through a loss. While it is often associated with losing a loved one, grief can creep up on you when a job loss looms. Losing such a big part of your life is devastating, emotionally and financially, but you need to “move on” as soon as possible. The “Five Stages of Grief” is a model for dealing with a traumatic period of loss. First explored by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 as a methodology for dealing with grief, it has since been adopted in many other contexts. Five stages of grief in a job search is sadly real for so many people.
Losing a job cannot be compared to the emotional impact of losing someone that you love. Still, given the immediate need to deal with the shock and move on, the Five Stages of Grief can serve as a practical emotional job search roadmap to resilience, understanding and hope for whatever comes next in your career.
Everyone will deal with job loss differently, so there is no single solution to coming out the other side. These five stages of grief in a job search and accompanying feelings will come in waves. The job search journey will not be a smooth curve. With every failed interview, denial and anger will surge, and depression will lurk in the shadows. While acceptance is the only way to keep positive in the job search, it will sometimes be in short supply.
Five stages of grief in a job search
Be kind to yourself and realise that all these feelings are normal. They are all part of the path forward – they are what will help you eventually come through the other side. This blog doesn’t seek to provide any easy answers (they don’t exist) – I simply hope you will recognise some of the following feelings in yourself and know that you are not alone in feeling them. They will pass. The next step in your career is coming.
Denial
I can’t believe that I’ve lost my job. Nope. Just a bad dream.
Confused. You won’t be able to make sense of what is going on.
Avoidance. You would prefer to pretend that you hadn’t been asked to leave.
Shock. Your life has been turned upside down – you won’t know what hit you.
Anger
Come on. You can’t be serious? WTF!?
Frustration. You will likely feel angry that you find yourself in this situation.
Hostility. An employer who was on your side will suddenly seem like the enemy.
Anxiety. It is natural to feel fearful of what might (or might not) come next.
Bargaining
Maybe there is some reason behind this. Who knows?
Seeking meaning. Understand the reasons behind the job loss. Many questions.
What if? Could you have done anything differently? What were the scenarios?
Blame game. Job loss is never all about you – who else should shoulder some blame?
Depression
I feel nothing. I just can’t be bothered anymore.
Overwhelmed. When you feel that you can’t cope, your mind and body shut down.
Helpless. Depression makes you feel that you are not in control – of anything.
Empty. Nothingness. There is a void when you lose anything. You need to fill it.
Acceptance
Hey, there it is – the light at the end of the tunnel.
Open to exploration. Something is better than nothing – but what comes next?
Gradual adjustment. You know that change is coming – so take baby steps.
Potential for healing. Hope arrives when you least expect it. Then the healing begins.
Grief is not a linear process. There will be days when your head is filled with many of these feelings and other times when you will almost feel normal. Make the most of those days.
Recovering from a job loss can take years – long after you have found a new position – and sometimes, you replay the trauma in your head now and again for decades. Grief never entirely leaves us – we just gradually learn to cope with it better.
I hope that this blog will help you to at least recognise some of your feelings.
Losing a job can be devastating. It can hurt a lot.
Trying to grieve what you have lost will help in the long run.
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This blog is shared with Job Seeker Duetists.
Written by former recruitment ghostwriter Paul Drury (not AI).
